These days sleeping well is the number one, absolutely non negotiable, single most important habit I stick to. I have a few habits that are important to me in terms of health, but nothing trumps sleep in terms of its effect on my general wellbeing, capability to get stuff done, be calm, focused, and most importantly, happy.
I’ve known for many years that I was not one of those people who could go without sleep and be fine, but I never valued it (or myself) enough to place a priority on it. In fact I prioritised most other things. Work project needs to be in? I’ll just work late and then get home late, grab something unhealthy for dinner on the way home, and then get to bed late. Invitation to the pub even though I’m knackered? I’ll just come along and hype myself up on a few white wines, pass out later than I want to, and then have really poor quality sleep, and wake up broken in the morning.
For many years I existed in an anxious, sleep deprived, stressed out state until I went through burnout at the end of 2020, came out the other side, and over the period of a year or so, made changes in all areas of my life.
There seems to be a bit of a myth that some people naturally sleep well and some don’t, and if you sleep well you’re lucky. I’m not the expert on this; maybe some people are more biologically conditioned for better sleep than others, however I also believe it’s possible to train yourself to sleep well. That’s exactly what I did during my burnout recovery, and it’s something that I’ve stuck to since.
Even if you think you can’t go to bed early and that you’re made for being a night owl, try it and see what happens. Often we’re just in a pattern of going to bed late, getting up late, and if you change the pattern you’ll adjust to it. You just have to get through the painful change bit first, and make yourself go to bed early, and maybe not sleep exactly when you want to. After a few weeks of doing this consistently, I can almost guarantee that you’ll be sleeping earlier and for longer if you condition yourself to do it.
Here are my tips for how to prioritise and get better quality sleep:
Work out how much sleep you need. Every sleep expert seems to have a different opinion on how much sleep is optimal, so the only way to work this out for yourself is through trial and error. My optimal sleep is 8 hours. This part is important, don’t skip it as you need to know what you’re aiming for
Make the necessary changes in your life to make sure that you get the sleep you need. I understand that some people have scenarios in their life which means that they can’t get 8 hours of sleep e.g. they have a baby or ill relative they are caring for, but for the rest of us quit the ‘I haven’t got time’ kind of excuses and do what you need to do to make this happen
As much as you can (whilst accepting this probably isn’t going to be possible every night forever more) go to bed at the same time every night
9-11pm are the most precious sleeping hours where our body can get the best quality of rest so whenever you can get to sleep within these hours
Go to bed at least 30 minutes before you need to be asleep to get the amount of sleep you want to get. At least!
Make your bedroom a sleep sanctuary. Clean and clear surfaces, no clutter, no piles of clothes in sight, calm lighting, no TV, light a nice smelling candle or incense stick
Make your bedroom a no phone zone. Charge your phone in another room and invest in an actual alarm clock. I promise the world goes on turning when you don’t have your phone within reach for 8 hours
Avoid your phone at least an hour before you go to bed. Put it to charge in the other room and don’t look at it until morning. This has been a work in progress for me and I’m still not quite there, but the nights I do this I do feel better for it
If you’re not sleepy when you go to bed read a book, do a little meditation exercise on an app such as Balance, or whatever it is you like to do to make yourself sleepy
If you wake up in the middle of the night try to stay calm and not fight your awakeness. Sometimes it happens, and that’s ok. And sometimes you’ll wake up panicked about something really weird for no particular reason but hey, our minds are complex beasts. Just acknowledge it, read, do the meditation exercise, lie on your back breathing and be present. Eventually you’ll fall asleep, even if it’s after an hour or so. Even if you’re not sleeping, rest is good
Sometimes life happens and I don’t get 8 hours sleep and if this happens I go to bed earlier when I can to make up the time. For me, it works to get extra sleep when I can if I know I have a couple of later nights coming up
And one more overall thing to say: just hang on in there if you’re trying to improve or change your sleeping habits. Like any change there will always be the messy part in the middle where it seems like the change is never going to happen and you’re better off going back to your old ways. And then suddenly things will become easier. You may have a few weeks of broken sleep, waking up at weird times, or not able to get to sleep when you want to, but if you can get through this, moving to more regular sleep will change your life.
For more on creating life change to work smarter, create healthier habits, and live a happier life, check out my blog and other posts on my website, and follow me on Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Comments