Me and anxiety
I suffered from chronic anxiety for many years of my life and I became so used to it that it almost became my natural state. In fact the ‘almost’ doesn’t need to be in that sentence. I definitely spent more time being anxious than calm or ‘normal’.
I worked my way through it and out the other side as part of a year-long process during which I made changes to all areas of my life.
Strategies to reduce and manage my anxiety were a big part of this. Alongside these, I changed my life so that I’m now doing what I want to do, I’ve removed big stressors where possible, I’ve changed my habits to be much healthier and better for me, and I surround myself with radiators instead of drains (more on this in my next post).
Some suggestions
Every person has a different experience of anxiety, so this isn’t me pretending to be the expert, or telling people what to do. I’m just sharing some things that helped me along the way, and maybe someone might find them useful:
Accept that you have it
Sounds simple but it took me years to accept that I was suffering with chronic anxiety. Accepting the reality is the first small step in making big change
Learn about your anxiety
Understanding more about anxiety in general is helpful, however even more so is learning about your own anxiety. Figure out what your triggers are, when you’re most anxious, when you feel better. Journal if this is your thing, or make simple notes so you can identify patterns
Work out what you’re doing that fuels it
That anxious buzz is addictive when you’ve spent most of your life in that state. Could be drinking too much (hangxiety), could be smoking (nicotine buzz), could be stressful situations (can also be addictive). There will be something or multiple things (all of the aforementioned for me) that you’re doing on a regular basis to keep the anxiety fueled
Stop doing it: easy to say, hard to do
Get professional help if you need to, or allow yourself time to go through a slower process of letting go of your negative habits
Replace your bad habits with better ones
In going through the process of giving up bad habits, it helps to replace them with something better. Again, this is probably going to be a longer process that’s made up of small daily steps and changes. But if you want to reduce your drinking, you need to think of something else to do in that time. Otherwise you have a hole in your life and it feels empty
Get therapy
Therapy will uncover the real reasons / beliefs / patterns / traumas behind your anxiety. If you can’t afford therapy, there are so many resources available online. It’s not the same, but it’s a start. Read articles and listen to podcasts, and take small tips, actions and frameworks from each one
Explore healthier habits
Try, test and investigate all sorts of healthy habits that you can bring into your life to help reduce your anxiety, and pick the ones that work best for you. Don’t pressurise yourself into trying to do yoga if you hate it, it won’t become a long term habit. Find what works for you, and then try to do them every day.
In case it’s useful mine are: sleeping well, time alone, time with loved ones, reading, yoga, meditation (work in progress all the time with this one!), eating good quality healthy food, walking, epsom salt baths, essential oils
Develop a breathing practice
Meditation, mindfulness, mindful breathing. Pick one version of these and do it every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Start with a few minutes every day and if you can, build up to 20 minutes. And have a little breathing practice for when you’re feeling stressed at work, or you have a particular situation that you know will stress you out. It can be as simple as locking yourself in a toilet cubicle and taking three very deep breaths in and out. This is a total game changer if you take the time to do it
Put together a self-soothing kit
Fill it with little things that make you feel calmer, and have one for each sense. For smell, I use lavender oil, for sight my phone wallpaper is something calming, for music I have particular songs that calm me. Have a few little things at your fingertips that will calm you when the anxiety starts to rise
Be kind to yourself
All the time. Speak to yourself as you would the person you love most in your life. So simple, so powerful
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