Blaggers and preparers
In my experience there are two kinds of people in life: those who can sleep through their alarm, get up late, roll into work, and straight into a client presentation in front of a panel of ten suits-and-boots people, and those who cannot. I am in the latter category.
I am the one that prepares to the max and presents my client presentations out loud to an empty room at least ten times before I can even contemplate presenting it in front of anyone else. Still do!
I’m also the one that for two decades, would focus on everything that I did wrong in a situation at work, rather than all the great things that I did right.
I used to be envious of people who seem to blag their way through client meetings, pitches and presentations, seemingly without a thought or care in the world. And I spent many years thinking there was something wrong with me because I’m not like that.
Hiding my weaknesses
I also spent many years trying to hide what I thought were my ‘flaws’ (i.e. nervousness about presenting and client meetings), instead of emphasising what I’m great at, and asking for help for what I could improve.
I wish I’d faced it head on instead of trying to shove down my anxiety and pretend all was well.
Sometimes we all need a reminder that we’re just fine the way we are, and that our best is always good enough.
So if you’re having a hard day and feeling some self-doubt at work, here are a few thoughts and suggestions that have helped me along the way.
Reminders for stamping out self-doubt
You were recruited for a reason.
When you feel like you’re not enough, remember that you got your job for a reason. Embrace your strengths, and stand up and own the role you went through a long process to be chosen for.
Remember that imposter syndrome is real for everyone.
I haven’t met anyone yet who doesn’t experience this.
The higher up the career ladder I went, the more I realised that even the most senior of people are just doing their best, they’re just more confident in doing it, and worry less (some).
So when you’re feeling like you don’t deserve to be where you are, remember everyone else (including your CEO) feels the same at some point.
Flip the negative to positive.
When you find yourself focusing on what you’ve done wrong, or can’t do, consciously flip it to what you do right, and what you can.
Make yourself do it.
Write it down or keep it in your head, but make yourself do it for at least a few minutes.
Remember that you have no idea how people actually feel.
When you’re feeling stressed and anxious, everyone else can seem very calm and under control.
But if you’re anything like me, you’re good at covering up your anxiety, so you seem what way too.
You never know what’s going behind people’s fronts, remember that rather than assuming everyone is doing better than you.
If you feel like you need help with something, ask!
There is no failure in this.
It will make you feel better, and it will make the situation better.
People love being asked to help, so whilst you might think it will lessen your profile at work, it will probably improve it.
Lead the way and be the one that openly accepts their weaknesses, enabling others to do the same.
Power pose:
Wonder Woman is my superhero of choice. Always has been, since I used to watch it as a child in the 1980s (yes, I’m that old, and proud!).
Find yours 🦸, and find their power pose and do it in the toilet before you go into a challenging situation.
Promise it works. 💪
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