If you're a leader in learning delivery or operations, you’ve probably experienced it: the 3am wake-up call. No, not from your alarm, but from your own mind racing with anxiety. Maybe it’s that presentation that didn’t go as planned, or perhaps the sharp comment you made to a team member when stress got the better of you. Or worse yet, it could be tomorrow’s client meeting looming like a shadow over your peace of mind. What starts as a single worry spirals into a full-blown analysis of every aspect of your life. Sound familiar?
Here’s the reality—leading people and managing operations is hard work, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed sometimes. But this middle-of-the-night anxiety, where one small moment snowballs into questioning everything, is something that needs to be addressed.
Why Does This Happen?
For leaders, our work isn't just a job; it’s a reflection of our passion, competence, and identity. So when things go wrong, it feels personal. We worry not only about the immediate issues—like a missed deadline or a tense conversation—but also about how our work impacts everything else. Before we know it, we’re lying there at 3am thinking about our career, relationships, health, and future, all because of one hiccup at work.
The Domino Effect of Worry
The problem with these moments is that they tend to escalate. One small worry about a task turns into a much bigger issue:
“Am I losing control over my team?”
“Why didn’t I prepare better for that presentation?”
“If this client leaves, what does that mean for the rest of the business?”
Soon, the anxiety spreads to other areas of your life: your health, your family, your long-term goals. Everything feels connected, and suddenly you’re not just worrying about a meeting, you’re worrying about everything you can’t control.
Breaking the Cycle
If you’ve found yourself in this loop, you’re not alone. Here are some strategies to help break the 3am anxiety cycle:
Separate the facts from feelings: start by asking yourself: “What actually happened today? What is the real problem here?” The mind loves to catastrophise, but pulling yourself back to the facts can help you regain perspective.
Focus on what’s within your control: there will always be factors outside of your control. Identify what’s actionable in the situation you’re worried about and focus on that. This gives you a sense of agency and power over your circumstances.
Schedule a worry session: yes, you read that right. Schedule time during the day to address your worries. When your mind starts racing at 3am, remind yourself that you have time set aside to work through these issues when you’re more clear-headed.
Practice mindfulness or relaxation techniques: when you wake up in a panic, try deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation to calm your nervous system. Bringing your body back to a state of rest can stop the cascade of anxious thoughts.
Challenge your inner critic: leaders often hold themselves to impossible standards. If a presentation didn’t go perfectly, does that really define your abilities? Challenge the harsh self-talk with a more balanced, forgiving perspective.
Closing Thoughts
The 3am anxiety is something many of us in leadership experience, but it doesn’t have to control your nights—or your life. By recognising the pattern, focusing on what’s actionable, and practising self-compassion, you can take control of your worries before they spiral out of hand.
After all, tomorrow is another day to lead with clarity and purpose. Let’s leave the nighttime worrying behind.
If this resonates with you, let’s talk. I work with leaders like you to not only manage the stress of your job, but to thrive in all areas of life. Reach out today and let’s start breaking the cycle together.
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