Self-Coaching: unlock your potential with this ten-minute technique

Ever felt stuck in a loop of repetitive negative thoughts or unproductive behaviour? 

At times it’s useful to seek external support and help from a coach or other expert, however often with more self-awareness and simple frameworks, we can create shifts in our patterns and behaviours ourselves. 

I was introduced to this model a few years ago by a coach I was working with, and I’ve been using it ever since to create breaks in unhealthy patterns, or to try and find a new way of looking at, or reacting to, a situation. 

CTFAR: introducing a self-coaching model

This framework can be used to gain new insights about repetitive situations in your life, problems you want to solve, or scenarios that you want to explore further to see why they happened, and what you could have done differently. It can produce new ways of acting and results in your life.

The basic theory that the model is based on is that your circumstances create your thoughts, your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your results.

CFTAR: breaking it down 

Circumstances (C): These are the facts of your situation, completely neutral until we assign them meaning. For example, "I have a presentation at 3pm tomorrow."

Thoughts (T): Thoughts are the interpretations we make about our circumstances. They might be automatic, like "I’m terrible at public speaking."

Feelings (F): Our thoughts directly influence our feelings, such as anxiety or fear, which arise from the thoughts we have about our circumstances.

Actions (A): Feelings fuel our actions. If you feel anxious, you might procrastinate or avoid preparing for your presentation.

Results (R): Finally, our actions lead to results. In this case, poor preparation might result in a stressful time prior to and around the presentation, or a presentation that could have gone better.

Using the model

When you have a problem or situation you want to analyse or solve, coach yourself with this model by following these steps:

1. Write out the CTFAR acronym in a vertical column and fill in one line, the part you want to solve. It can be any line, depending on the problem, e.g.:

C

T 

F - Anxious about a presentation tomorrow

A 

R

1. Fill in the remaining lines e.g.:

C - I have a presentation at 3pm tomorrow

T - I’m terrible at public speaking 

F - Very anxious about the presentation tomorrow

A - Procrastinate about preparing for the presentation

R - Stress and lack of sleep the night before presentation and presentation could have gone better 

1. Now think about what might be the impact on your problem or challenge if you changed one of these other elements.

E.g. instead of procrastinating about preparing for the presentation tomorrow, what if you took a different action and did all the preparation you can? How would that alter your feelings, actions, and results? Maybe if you prepared as much as you could, you would feel less stressed, get some sleep, and the whole presentation experience would be more positive. 

1. Rewrite the CTFAR model based on this new thought and see how it changes e.g.. 

C - I have a presentation at 3pm tomorrow

T - I’m not good at public speaking 

F - Anxious about the presentation tomorrow

A - Prepare as much as I can for the presentation

R - Feel more confident about the presentation and my public speaking capability, and presentation goes well

Or if you changed the thought from ‘I’m not good at public speaking’ to ‘I can be good at public speaking’ then maybe your feeling could be confidence rather than anxiety, or at least your anxiety will lessen, once you have repeated this new process a few times. This could create a different action, and different, more positive, results.

Three ways to turn the CTAFR model into a habit:

Reflect daily: Spend a few minutes each day with the CTFAR model to reflect on a specific situation. This practice builds self-awareness and control over your reactions.

Experiment with thoughts: Consciously change your thoughts in minor situations to see how it impacts your outcomes. This builds your confidence to handle bigger challenges.

Visualise success: Imagine the best-case scenario and work backwards. What thoughts and actions would lead to that result?

Ready to dive deeper into self-coaching? Message me today for more insightful tips and strategies to elevate your everyday life.