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The Courage to Say 'No': Taking Back Your Time and Energy

Writer's picture: KarenKaren


Every time you say ‘yes’ to something, you’re saying ‘no’ to something else.


For leaders, particularly those juggling demanding roles, the instinct to say “yes” to every request can lead to overcommitment, overwhelm, and burnout.


In this blog, I explore why saying no is a crucial skill for reducing stress and regaining control, how to identify when and where to set boundaries, and practical strategies to master the art of the polite no.


Why We Struggle to Say No


For many of us, saying “no” feels uncomfortable—even impossible. Here are some common reasons why:


  1. Fear of disappointment: you don’t want to let anyone down, especially your team or loved ones.


  2. The need to prove yourself: saying “yes” can feel like you’re demonstrating competence or commitment.


  3. Cultural conditioning: many of us are taught from a young age to prioritise others’ needs above our own.


  4. Guilt: the belief that you’re being unhelpful or selfish by turning down a request.



The Real Cost of Saying Yes Too Often


Overcommitment Leads to Overwhelm

When you take on more than you can handle, you spread yourself too thin. Deadlines pile up, priorities blur, and the constant juggling act becomes unsustainable.


Sacrificing What Matters Most

Every “yes” you give to something unimportant is a “no” to something that truly matters—your health, relationships, and personal goals. Over time, this misalignment can lead to resentment and burnout.


Diminished Quality and Focus

Saying “yes” to everything means you’re rarely able to give your full attention to anything. Quality suffers, mistakes increase, and you lose the sense of satisfaction that comes from doing something well.


A 2024 survey revealed that 60% of adults feel stressed five or more days each month, with 11% experiencing stress every day. Overcommitting is a major contributor to this cycle.



The Power of Saying No


Saying “no” isn’t about rejection; it’s about intention. It’s about aligning your actions with your priorities and protecting your energy for what truly matters.


Reframing 'No':


~ Instead of seeing “no” as shutting someone out, view it as creating space for meaningful “yes” moments.


~ Think of it as a boundary that allows you to show up fully for the commitments you do make.



Strategies to Master Saying No


1. The Yes/No Filter


Before agreeing to any request, ask yourself:


~ Does this align with my values and goals?


~ Will saying “yes” take time or energy away from something more important?


~ Am I saying “yes” out of guilt or obligation?


If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” it’s time to consider turning down the request.


2. The Polite Decline Template


Crafting a clear, respectful response can make saying “no” easier. Here are a few examples:


~ “I’d love to help, but I’m fully committed right now.”


~ “This sounds like a great opportunity, but I’ll need to pass as I’m focusing on other priorities.”


~ “I’m unable to take this on, but here’s someone who might be able to assist.”


3. The Energy Audit


Take stock of where your energy is going each week:


  1. List all your commitments and activities.


  2. Identify which ones energise you and which ones drain you.


  3. Use this insight to decide where to cut back, delegate, or set boundaries.



Practising the Courage to Say 'No'


Changing your habits around saying “no” takes time and practice. Start small:


~ This week, identify one thing that’s draining you and say “no” to it.


~ Use the time you gain to do something that replenishes your energy, whether that’s spending time with loved ones, pursuing a hobby, or simply resting.



Final Thoughts


Saying “no” isn’t selfish—it’s an essential act of self-care. By setting boundaries and aligning your commitments with your values, you’re not just protecting your energy; you’re creating the space to thrive both personally and professionally.


If you’re ready to take control of your time and energy, let’s chat. Book a call with me today to learn how I can help you overcome work stress and reclaim your confidence, clarity, and control: https://calendly.com/karen-karenhaguecoaching

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